An Ordinary Monday Morning

*BAM BAM BAM*
"What is it?" I woke up while Cimp was still soundly asleep. Suddenly some more bangs came from the front door and he woke up.
"Wha.... Oh God Yondaime. She came back today thats why I went to sleep so early." He jumped out of the bed, got dressed and ran for the door. I rose from the bed and put on some underwear and a tank top. As I stood up I heard fast little footsteps running through the hallway. I went to the living room and there was little Yondaime sitting.
"Hey there kiddo so how was the weekend?"
"Quite fine if I might say so." She replied.
"Oh somebody had been watching some classy english movies wasn't she?" I said while trying to contain my laughter from that horrible posh english accent she tried to pull off.
"Quite yes."
"You know that if you add quite at the beggining of each sentence it won't make them sound more english. Isn't that right beardling?"
"Quite no." Cimp replied from the kitchen with a much better accent than Yondaime.
"Oh now even you turn on me? Like father, like s..... ehmmmm.... Daughter?"

"Uhm so Yondaime are you hyped for your school year to start?" I asked her after a moment of silence.
"Yeah I'm going to meet all my friends again in school but the lessons are a bore."
"So do you want to hop on top of the hype train with me and your daddy?"
"Not really." She replied with a weird look on her face.
Suddenly Cimp came into the room with some party hats and balloons both spelling Happy New Year. Yondaime looked even more confused as I pulled out a bunch of crackers and looked at her with the words:
"Too bad." As we started to crack the crackers. After our little show ended Yondaime was still sitting on the same spot in with awe searing from all parts of her little body. As Cimp and I were slowly leaving the room I whispered to him:
"That was fucking awesome. Well worth the stream donations."
"Yeah it was brilliant. Wanna have some breakfast now?" He said while both of us were laughing.
"I'm starving"

Dicks, Schlongs and Penises

So I was sitting in front of my notebook playing Skyforge and getting ready to go to bed after the stream. Of course I knew Cimp was playing Penumbra and as I have already written here horror games leave a really bad mark on him the night he plays them. It's all fun and games on the stream but after it, that's when the nightmares started. During my playtime of Skyforge I heard a few particularly interesting sentences from the "Abyss" room. These sentences began with: Look at that schlong and ended with ...that salty alien penis. So I looked at the stream from time to time and couldn't overlook the naked aliens with their hanging dicks.
"Oh fucking awesome. This will be a glorious night." I told myself and disregarded the stream for another while because I was concentrated on my game hoping that this night would be a calm one.

Of course it wasn't.
Fast forward a few hours Cimp said his goodnight to the guys on the stream and we went to sleep. We lay next to each other for a while as we were falling asleep. As I predicted after some time Cimp started talking from sleep.
"Keep that schlong out of my face you monster. No stop I don't want any of it."
I just rolled my eyes over as all of this started. I hugged Cimp and held him close to me. I was hoping this would end in a while, but it didn't. It was 8 AM and I was still hugging Cimp who was still talking from his sleep so I decided to go eat some breakfast. As I was leaving for the kitchen I heard: "Stay out of here you dirty, dirty alien I don't want to have anything to do with your salty, alien penis."
"Thanks God that Yondaime isn't here for the weekend." I told myself as I was slowly walking torwards my food. Man i'm hungry.

It was approximately 11 AM when Cimp woke up and found me sitting in front of my notebook.
"Have you slept well beardling?" He asked.
"Well let's just say I had a night full of dicks...."

Something about me

Ok guys so since I have absolutely no clue what to write about today I guessed I might as well drop some knowledge about me It will keep me motiveted to write since I don't want you to know too much about me :D So here goes nothing.

I am a 19, soon to be 20 years old male student. My First name is Tim in my country it is Timotej and I'm from Slovakia which if you don't know is a country in the exact middle of Europe and no we are not Czechoslovakia anymore. I am getting ready for my University where I will study english and japanese as a translator.

And that is about everything I'm willing to drop on you right now.

Thanks for all your support with the blog and everything else hope you're having a good time reading all of the shit I write honestly it's a good excersise for my english writing and a good way to get ready for my Uni and thanks Cimp fro pointing out my mistakes it really helps since I write a lot of things while talking to other people and/or listening to someone talking.

Love ya all guys. :)

I Want to do Bad Things to You

"So Yondaime is leaving for the weekend?" I asked.
"Yeah pretty much, she's going to spend the weekend with her mother."
"Which brings me to a question, how did you two meet and had a child?"
Cimp let out a heavy breath and said:
"You know it's a funny story. We met at University and some things went down and she dropped off. After I finished studying she told me that I have a daughter."
I was staring at Cimp with a dumb look on my face and said:
"And how exactly is that a funny story?"
"Weeeeeell....."
"Nope no way you can get out of this one." I chuckled as Cimp was apparently looking for an answer.
"Come over here beardling." I said while lauging. Cimp slowly came torwards me and I gave him a light kiss on the cheek. After this I leaned near his ear and whispered:
"I want to do bad things to you."
"Yeah what would you like to do?" He responded with a playful tone in his voice.
I whispered slowly:
"Murder your daughter."
Cimp was in complete terror as I said this and after a few seconds I bursted out laughing:
"I was just kidding beardling, but you have to admit she is a pain sometimes."
He chuckled a bit and I continued:
"Just like you. Come and give me a big warm hug."
As we were hugging I told him:
"You are adorable at times you know."
"Yeah well, you are horrible at times."
"I know, that's why you love me isn't it?" I said with a grin on my face.
"Of course it is....."

P.S.: Thanks for all the support guys you are awesome and I love you all you are even better than the people wo dont read the P.S.: marking at the end of my short stories.
P.P.S.: Love ya Cimp :*

We Were Trippin

"Trip, Trip, Trip Trip."
Yondaime was running around excited as me and Cimp told her we would go somewhere out since the electricity went out.
"Ok kiddo are you ready to go for the trip?" Cimp asked.
"Fuck YEAH." she replied.
"What did you just say? What did we say about swear words?"
"That they are bad. Sorry daddy."
I just came out of the bathroom with hair still wet and asked:
"So where are we going?" I threw the question into the aether.
"Ummm.... I don't really know. Sweetie where do you want to go?"
"To the Toy Shop." She yelled really excited.
"And what in the toy shop cutie?" I asked.
"I want a little stove so I can cook...."
"Oh so we have a little chef here." I chuckled.
So we went to the Toy Shop to look for a little stove for Yondaime. As we arrived the shop assistant asked us what we wanted and so we explained that we were looking for a toy stove. As we were looking through a seemingly neverending row of toy stoves we finally found the one.
"This is the one." Yondaime yelled as she was running torwards us.
"Ok darling we will take this one with us."
As we arrived home Yondaime was really tired so I took her up on my hands and brought her to her bed. Cimp was carrying the toy stove inside and we went to sleep.

In the morning as I woke up I came to the living room and there was little Yondaime playing with the stove.
"What are you doing sweetie?"
"I'm cooking blue candy." she replied.
I looked at her with surprise but disregarded it as child's play.
"So what do you want for breakfest you little chef? And when you're at it go wake up daddy and ask him."
I laughed as the little rascal was running torwards the bedroom yelling:
"DADDYYYYYYYY, WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR BREAKFAAAAAST, I WILL COOK FOR YOUUUUUU."
Children....

P.S.: Thank you for all the support guys
P.P.S.: Love ya all

The Big Reveal

I just woke up and rolled around to put my hand around Cimp when suddenly I fell to the ground.
"Oh yeah. I was sleeping on the couch."
I looked up and there was little Yondaime staring at me.
"Hey there little fella, how did you sleep?" I asked her.
"I slept pretty well thank you uncle Glaedth." She replied
Oh so now I'm an uncle..... God this will be hard to explain once it comes crashing down.
"Hey Cimp I need to talk to you. You wait here Yondaime ok? I have some boring stuff to discuss with your daddy and then we'll have some breakfast."
"OK uncle Glaedth."
Man this has to stop I can't be that old.
As I struggled my way into the kitchen I told Cimp:
"You know we have to tell her. We can't possibly keep her in the dark for the whole time."
Cimp looked at me with despair in his eyes and said:
"OK after breakfast we will sit down with her and have a talk father-to-daughter-to-uncle." After which he started laughing.
"Yeah be an ass and start calling me uncle. It's definetely not like you're the older one here." I punched him lightly into his shoulder and gave him a kiss.
"Uncle Glaedth why did you just kiss daddy?"
"I guess breakfast will have to wait won't it beardling." I said to Cimp and cackled a little.
.
.
.
.
After some time and explaing the situation little Yondaime ended it with one sentence.
"Oh thats cool I'm going to go play with my dolls do you want to come too?"
"Yeah sure why not." I said and grabbed Yondaime by her little hand and went to play with her.
"Well that went better than expected. I guess I'll just go get a nap"

P.S.: Ok guys this might've been a tad bit longer and not as funny as the other posts but STORY EXPOSITION :D
P.P.S.: Love ya all :*

Who's your Daddy?

This happened a few days ago. Cimp and I were sitting at lunch when suddenly there was a silent knock on the front door. We disregarded it as only hearing things and continued with our food when suddenly there was a louder knock. We looked at each other and slowly approached the door. I grabbed Cimp by his shoulder and he opened the door. There was a small girl, she could be around 7 years old and had semi-long hair. She jumped at Cimp and hugged him around the waist and yelled:
"Daddy."
Cimp was standing there with a blank expression and I was just staring with my mouth open. He turned to face me and grabbed my hand.
"I have been trying to tell you beardling but didn't know how to explain it, but I have a daughter."
"A daughter? But... I... I'm not sure if I'm ready to raise a child." I replied.
I looked at the girl and came a few steps closer to her.
"What's your name cutie?" I asked and she replied.
"My name is Yondaime, are you a friend of my daddy?"
"Yes we are very close friends me and your daddy. Actually we live here together." I explained to her.
"Oh you do? That's cool." She looked at me with her big cute eyes and continued:
"Can I live with you and daddy?"
We exchanged looks with Cimp and I said:
"Of course you can sweetie. Come here." I hugged her really tightly and Cimp joined us and with tears in his eyes gave me a soft kiss on the back of my head.
"Daddy why did you just kiss your friend?"
Oh fuck.....

The Virginity has been Lost

Yesterday was a special night. It finally happened. It all started before the stream. Cimp and I were hanging out as usually. We were watching some cute cat videos on youtube and and had a good laugh. We were caressing our beards as usuall until the time came for my little beardling to stream. I gave him a soft kiss on his bearded, manly, cheek and went to watch a few videos untill Cimp got ready and then I came to lurk the stream for a while and after which I just joined the ruckuss in the chat. The stream was going fine and dandy so I just jumped off for a while to take a shower and after I returned Cimp had just started a new run. This run was looking really well and soon enough it was looking like THE run and after some time losses it didnt look as good as it looked beforehand. Yet nonetheless Cimp managed to finish the run. I was really excited for this and waited for the stream to end. After the stream when Cimp finally came to bed I crawled to him and whispered into his ear:
"I finally lost my Virginity beardling, that was the first whole run I saw."
"Oh really?" He replied. "I'm so happy for you."
"Love ya beardling." I told him and put my arm around him.
And we drifted to sleep together in a warm, tight hug....

When the Nightmares Started

This actually happened on this very night. I was already asleep when Cimp came to bed tired after the whole night of streaming. I was briefly awoken when he dropped next to me after which I slowly drifted back to sleep. Suddenly I was awoken a by loud scream. Cimp was sitting on the bed next to me breathing heavily.
"What is it beardling?" I asked at which he replied:
" I had a horrible nightmare." I softly grabbed his arm and asked:
"Was it about the RITO?".
"No I was dreaming that I was strapped to a wheelchair and some wicked man tried to torture me." "Oh beardling have you been playing Outlast again? You know you have nightmares after you play it." I hugged him tightly,
"Come here It will be better don't you worry."
As Cimp was falling asleep once again in my warm embrace he repeated:
"No, not my fingers." At which I hugged him even harder untill he was sound asleep.
This happens everytime he plays these games but he does it for the stream and for the guys there and I can't do anything that would stop him at playing these games. It's destroying him ..... And my sleep schedule.

The Poetic Soul

This happened on an ordinary day as any other could've been. I was in the bedroom (at Cimps place) lying on the bed listening to some Periphery and reading IT by Stephen King when suddenly I heard some ruckuss coming from the hallway. I quickly got up and ran outside of the bedroom scared that something could've happened to Cimp. Yet there he was standing on a chair with a bouqet of roses and as he saw me there staring in awe he started:

Glaedtheo, O Glaedtheo, wherefort art though Glaedtheo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or if thou will not, be but sworn my love
And I'll no longer be a Cimpulet.

At this point I'd already melted and threw my self at Cimp. I hugged him as hard as I could and caressed his beard for a while as we were standing in the hallway hugging each other. After this beautiful moment I put the bouqet he was still holding in a vase on the nightstand next to the bed and we layed there together untill Cimp had to stream. I gave him a light kiss on the cheek and caressed his beard for a while after which I proceeded to read my book and wait untill Cimp return to bed.

P.S.: guys thanks for all the support
P.P.S.: this is just fan fiction :D
P.P.P.S.: love ya Cimp :*>

The move

It was an ordinary night and stream was running a bit later than usuall so I was just sitting in the kitchen on my laptop stalking Cimps chat. After some time I was really tired and went to sleep. As the stream was done Cimp came to the bed and woke me up as he came to hug me from behind. He said: "Beardie tommorow we are coming back to my place." I was excited as I have never seen Cimps place before. The next day we moved and I was really excited for the whole duration when we traveled. I really wanted to see his place. As we came he gave me a short tour of the rooms and I was astonished when I saw the room in which he was streaming. It was pitch black with only a PC in one corner of it. "So this is why you call it the abyss." I said as we went to the kitchen to make some food for us and get ready for the evening stream. Cimp was watching me as I made the food and served it to him. Before eating I caressed his beard for a while and let him relax to get mentally ready as he was still shaken after the PD RITO. That event almost broke him but now he was ready to brace the deapths of the Twitch chat once more.

P.S.: This is only fan fiction created in my sick head.
P.P.S.: More to come
P.P.P.S.: Love you Cimp :*

The PD RITO

This short story is from some time back.

Glaedth (me) was in the kitchen making Cimp some coffee and dinner so he could eat it and get back to the stream. After I had done the dinner I went on to play a bit with Cimps cat just when Cimp came to the kitchen and told me that the RITO has begun. I was terrified as he explained me that the chat wanted to rename Ornstein into Pickle Dragon. If you never heard the story I will explain it here.

Dragons are mythological beings that can fly and spit fire/poison/electrcity...... basically what ever they want. The chat wanted Cimp to rename Ornstein into Pikachu because of his electric attitude but Cimp refused. Suddenly a wild Twitch chat member appeared who said that Pikachu sounded like Pickle Shoe and then the chat went wild with the RITO for Pickle Dragon.

Never have I seen Cimp be under so much stress he couldn't sleep in night and even caressing his beard wouldn't help at times. Once after a exhausting stream he came to me with tears in his eyes and said: "I did it, I gave them the Pickle dragon." He was devastated after this and cried through the whole night lying next to me as I hugged him as hard as I could. Neither one of us knew that this was the beggining of the END....

The magical night

'T was the long night stream and Cimp was really tired after he ended with a new PB and a few blisters on his thumbs. He came to the kitchen where Glaedth was sittin behind his laptop and as he saw Cimp and his thumbs he immerdiately rushed to his aid with a bunch of plasters. Glaedth attended firstly to Cimps fingers and later to his beards as they fell asleep next to each other in a warm embrace.

P.S.: This is just Fan-Fiction a creation of a sick mind named Glaedth just for shits and giggles but I'll probably end up writing some more :D

The first time they met

As Cimp and Glaedth met for the first time their eyes met and they saw their beards they knew they were ment for each other. In secret they met every night since then and thats how their story begins.